50 Ways To Get Astrid To Chase You With Her Axe
by Silver Blue Eyed Wolf
Summary: 50 actions that will result in a punch, kick or most likely Astrid sprinting after you as she chases you through the forest with her axe like a maniac. Other chapters revolve around 50 ways to annoy the different members of Berk.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N Ok, here's something that will hopefully make you laugh. I got the idea from SapphireWolf2002. **

**Here is the 50 ways to make Astrid chase you with an axe.**

**Enjoy. :)**

1\. Replace the spikes on Astrid's skirt with flowers.

2\. Yell, "Astrid loves Mildew" at the top of your voice in public.

3\. Tell Astrid that Hiccup had been cheating on her and was going out with Ruffnut instead, and then yell "Trolled" when she starts fuming.

4\. Give Astrid a gronkle egg as a present.

5\. Yell, "get a room" while she and Hiccup are kissing.

6\. Scream "Stormfly is ugly" at the top of your voice.

7\. Draw moustaches on all of Hiccup's pictures of her.

8\. Trap her in a cage and laugh while she is swinging upside down.

9\. Steal Stormfly.

10\. Replace her axe with a leaf.

11\. Pull her hair.

12\. Run up to her house at 2 o'clock in the morning and throw a brick through her window.

13\. Compare a how similar she looks to a frog.

14\. Impersonate her in a really exaggerated way.

15\. Dye Stormfly pink.

16\. Make Astrid's hair a matching colour.

17\. Tell her that Yaknog is disgusting.

18\. Trick her into kissing Tuffnut.

19\. Draw on her face while she is asleep.

20\. Hit on her.

21\. Laugh at her attempts of drawing Stormfly when you promised you wouldn't laugh.

22\. Record her singing in the bath.

23\. Tell her that she is a noob.

24\. Laugh as Astrid does the funky chicken.

25\. Cut of all her hair while she is sleeping.

26\. Explain to Astrid that you were the one that did the deed not the twins.

27\. Punch her in the arm and say "that's for everything else" and laugh as she goes red.

28\. Kidnap her when she is sleeping, so when she wakes up she is on a dessert island in the middle of nowhere.

29\. Call her a scaredy cat.

30\. Yell "Astrid loves Snotlout" at a meeting in the great hall.

31\. Steal Hiccup.

32\. Bet that Astrid would loose in an arm wrestle.

33\. Make gagging noises when Hiccup and AstriAstrid are having a moment.

34\. Call Astrid a baby.

35\. Force feed Astrid her own food.

36\. Show her hiccstrid smut I wrote on fanfiction and watch as her face goes from pink to red.

37\. Call Astrid a midget.

38\. Draw a picture of a mouse and the draw Astrid standing next to it but coming up to its shoulder.

39\. Write a book called 'Astrid the Ant and her Stormbug'.

40\. Yell "Astrid and Hiccup did the do" in the middle of a meeting in the great hall.

41\. Paint pink pretty flowers on Astrid's axe.

42\. Cover Astrid and Stormfly in mud.

43\. Call Astrid weak.

44\. Call Stormfly a cloud of Flys.

45\. Right a love letter to Snotlout and forge Astrid's signature on the back of it.

46\. Draw Astrid as an overweight, ugly, pig when you were supposed to be drawing the mug of ale.

47\. Start a rumour that Astrid was the only one who wasn't potty trained by the age of 5.

48\. Call Stormfly a chicken.

49\. Tell the gang all her extremely embarrassing moments from her childhood.

50\. Hang a banner up in the great hall that says, "I love Hotcup. Marry me plz" and 'sign' it Astrid.

**A/N I hope you liked this 50 ways, I honestly had a lot of fun writing it. **

**If you would like me to do another one of these leave a review requesting what topic and I'll try and do it.**

**Keep on writing! :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi, I'm back! This time I am going to do a 50 ways to get Mildew to completely hate you and try to find a way to banish you from Berk.**

**This was suggested by Long Tailed Silver Shark!**

**Thanks for all the reviews, if you have any ideas for a new 50 ways just PM me or leave a review! :)**

50 ways to get Mildew SERIOUSLY annoyed with you.

1\. Bring up the Scaldrin 'incident'.

2\. Call him an old flea bag.

3\. Constantly remind him that there are dragons on Berk and there is NOTHING he can do about it.

4\. Steel Fungus. (You know, his sheep)

5\. Give him another wife.

6\. Crash through his roof.

7\. Draw a picture of a dead sheep and put it on his wall with a love heat around it.

8\. Put him on a dragon.

9\. Make a home for a family of terrible terrors in his roof.

10\. Feed him dragon nip.

11\. Call him your old frail grandfather.

12\. Get a picture of him and label it 'sheep rustler'.

13\. Draw on his face when he is taking a nap.

14\. Paint Fungus pink.

15\. Yell yaks are better then sheep at him.

16\. Remind him that if it weren't for his butt then all the dragons would be dead and gone.

17\. Bring up some embarrassing childhood stories.

18\. Laugh at him when he is drunk.

19\. Bring in a herd of Gronkes to eat his cabbages.

20\. Tell him that Fungus was eaten by Toothless.

21\. Laugh at him when he runs away screaming after he confronted Toothless.

22\. Post this on fanfiction.

23\. Put honey in his slippers.

24\. Spray paint his staff pink with pretty icle flowers on it.

25\. Tell a bad pun about him.

26\. Attempt to tickle him.

27\. Put a giant metal statue of Thor outside his house that attracts lighting.

28\. Club him over the head with a base ball bat and say, "sorry I saw a toad were your face should be."

29\. Record him singing in the shower.

30\. Shear Fungus and drape all the wool over all of his house.

31\. Draw on his face while he is asleep. (Preferably a moustache.)

32\. Record him sing the Berk's national anthem.

33\. Dump him on breakneck bog with only metal armour.

34\. Tell him he seemed to have successfully put on weight with his new 'laze around everywhere and annoy the s*** out of people' regime.

35\. Start digging the grave for his funeral.

36\. Throw hedgehogs at Fungus to see if they cling to her wool. **( No hedgehogs were harmed in the writing of the fanfic. )**

37\. Impersonate him behind his back.

38\. Walk past him while taking a MASSIVE bite of lamb and comment on how delicious it is.

39\. Shave of the right side of his moustache.

40\. Invite Mildew to be the lead vocalist of your band on the performance on stage.

41\. Sneak dragon dung in his coffee.

42\. Comment on how ugly Mildew looks today.

43\. Put a pin on his chair at a meeting in the great hall.

44\. Call him a pig in a wig.

45\. Ping out loads of copies of his cheesyest photo, doodle on them, and hang them up all around Berk.

46\. Tell him that you have planned him and Fungus's wedding.

47\. Toilet paper his house.

48\. Introduce him to bashball.

49\. Tell him that this is funny.

50\. Give him the nickname ol' flea bag.

**A/N SO there you have it! Please read and review!**

**I am always open for suggestions for a new 50 ways so if you have any ideas, just PM me or leave a review! :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N Here's an new chapter for you all! :)**

** This idea was suggested by The Prime Writer, WRMWereWolf6 and Long Tailed Silver Shark and it is 50 ways to get Toothless mad at or generally want to shoot a plasma blast at you.**

1\. Snatch his barrel of fish away from him when he's eating.

2\. Step 'accidentally' on his tail.

3\. Force feed him Yak Nog.

4\. Threaten to chop of his other tail fin.

5\. Paint him pink.

6\. Call him Mr Lonely.

7\. Replace his drinking water with salt water.

8\. Cleverly sneak an eel into his fish.

9\. Denie his morning flight more than once.

10\. Ban flying.

11\. Draw moustaches all over the pictures Hiccup drew of him.

12\. Call Hiccup useless.

13\. Dress up as a target.

13\. Frame him for a crime that he didn't commit.

14\. Yell, "the unholy offspring of lightning and death itself faints when faced with a blade of grass!"

15\. Smear pink lipstick all over his mouth when he is asleep.

16\. Compare him to an aeroplane.

17\. Invent an aeroplane.

18\. Sing 'Let it Go' repeatedly over and over again in a completely out of tune voice, repeatedly in his ear.

19\. Replace his water with mead. (I wonder if a dragon can get drunk?)

20\. Steal Hiccup.

21\. List all the reasons why Berk would be better if they got rid of the dragons.

22\. Shove him in an arena with his rival Whispering Death.

23\. Let Snotlout ride him.

24\. Call him an ickle pussy cat.

25\. Show him the Toothless from the books.

26\. Compare him to the Toothless from the books.

27\. Feed him a bar of soap.

28\. Call his drool 'the first symptom of lizard rabies'.

29\. Shoot him down with a bola.

30\. Photoshop a picture of Toothless so he is doing the conga and then put up the pictures all around Berk.

31\. Ask Toothless about his love life.

32\. Hmmm, I wonder if Toothless can do the splits. Or ballet.

33\. Use a fish-on-a-stick to ride and control him, and don't give him the fish at the end.

34\. Insult Hiccup.

35\. Dress him up in a pink toupee.

36\. Ask him how many villages did he blow up and Vikings did he kill before Hiccup shot him down.

37\. Stalk him around Berk holding a leaf up to your face giggling, "he, he, he, he can't see me!"

38\. Make a paper mache/watermelon head replica of a Night Fury and yell, "Wooh hoo Toothless, look who we found on the Island of Night!"

39\. Dress up as Drago at a fancy dress party.

40\. Find a new Red Death and introduce her to Toothless at his birthday party.

41\. Throw him outside during a thunderstorm.

42\. Call him "useless."

43\. Cheat at Thawfest.

44\. Feel the need to throw rotten tomatoes at him.

45\. Force feed him a cabbage.

46\. Show him a smutty Toothcup fanfiction.

47\. Feed him a wooden fish.

48\. Laugh and review this.

49\. Let Mildew ride him.

50\. Attempt to duck tape his mouth so he can't shoot anymore plasma blasts at you.

**A/N Remember, if you've got any suggestions for a new 50 ways, just PM me or leave a review. Your opinion counts! :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Thank you to KeybladeMasterPhantom047, Guest, Early Sunset, MissiriKoharson, Lacur12 and Long Tailed Silver Shark for asking me to write this. It seems like a lot of people seem to want to annoy him! Anyway let's get strait into this!**

50 ways to annoy Hiccup.

1\. Force feed him Yaknog.

2\. Swap his peg leg for a flower.

3\. Doodle moustaches and smiley faces all over the book of dragons.

4\. Tease him about the time he fainted after Toothless roared.

5\. Impersonate his impression of Stoick.

6\. Show him screenshots of himself from the movie with funny memes.

7\. Have a sudden need to throw rotten tomatoes at him.

8\. Attempt to recreate the scene from the first movie where Hiccup runs screaming from a Monstrous Nightmare.

9\. Throw a cup of water on Inferno. (His fire sword.)

10\. Rip a hole in his flight suit.

11\. Balance a bucket of custard on the ledge of the door so when he opens it... splat!

12\. Tell him everything is a competition.

13\. Renact the scene where Stoick dies.

14\. Poke him repeatedly with a giant grin on your face.

15\. Stuff his pillow full of dragon dung.

16\. Ban flying.

17\. Steal his sock.

18\. Make it 'rain' rotten eggs on him.

19\. Show him the stupidest screenshot from the movie you can find.

20\. See if he's ticklish.

21\. Use him as a test subject in an experiment to see if if dragon nip works on humans.

22\. Compare him to a pig.

23\. Get Toothless to eat his lunch and then regurgitate it back on top of him.

24\. Call him brother.

25\. Invite Dagur round to his birthday party.

26\. Call him a tooth pick.

27\. Attempt to marry him to Ruffnut.

28\. Remind him repeatedly that he is related to Snotlout and that he is his cousin.

29\. Impersonate everything he says is a high pitched girly voice.

30\. Draw on his face whilst he's asleep. (Good job avoiding Toothless.)

31\. Ask him to sample your 'delectable mud pie.'

32\. Steal Astrid.

33\. Introduce him to the ice bucket challenge... the hard way.

34\. Attempt to cut his hair.

35\. Dress him up like a girl.

36\. Stuff his mattress full of dragon dung.

37\. As soon as he does something shout 'nu, nu, nu, noo Man Dragon!'

38\. See how many braids Astrid can fit on his head.

39\. Pretend to be one of the twins.

40\. Call dragons unintelligent fatherless chickens.

41\. Steal Toothless.

42\. 'Attempt to drown him,' as Dagur put it.

43\. Sing 'I know a song that will get on your nerves,' over and over again.

44\. Dress him up like an old fashioned baby, dummies, frilly hats and all, and push him around in a pink pram for the whole village to see.

45\. Hide Gronkle eggs under his bed.

46\. Convince Tuffnut that Hiccup had eaten his chicken.

47\. Whenever you see him call him ' The Mighty Dragon Conqueror' and mock salute him.

48\. Put a sign on his back saying 'poke me.'

49\. Tell the teens all his embarrassing childhood moments.

50\. Mix white with all of his red dragon racing face paint to make it pink.

**A/N: Sorry about the LONG time people had to wait for this chapter... :( I've just been lacking inspiration recently. But now it's finally up I'd like to thank you for reading tthis far, the response and reaction I've got from writing this has been AMAZING so thanks again for reading this. I hope it made you laugh!**

**Feel free to leave a review suggesting which 50 Ways I should do next, and I'll try my best to write it! :)**

**Keep reading!**


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